This article was originally written back at the beginning of 2019 when I first started writing my blog.
If you are here, it is likely that you are looking for help of some sort. I often describe my own journey as finding pieces of a jigsaw that help me make sense of things. Sometimes I find these inside of myself, sometimes they come from others.
Finding help for me has been something of a challenge over the years, and in setting up my website and writing profiles on various directories, I have been thinking about how I might make that easier for someone, for you hopefully. I've reflected on the things that have worked for me, and in truth, I find it difficult when faced with a list of people, who all write about how many things they can support me with, and have so much information. It seems overwhelming.
So what I try to offer in all my writings, is something of who I am. The research is clear, it is not the technique that is helpful, it is the relationship (Cooper, 2008). So it feels important in deciding who you work with to consider the relationship and how you feel with them. This is part of why I offer a 30 minute free consultation, to meet and experience something of what it would be like for us to work together.
The UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) website has an article about this topic and in it asks a few questions that feel really important in meeting someone new and it can sometimes be useful to wait for a day or so after you meet them to ask these things (you can find the original article here https://www.psychotherapy.org.uk/seeking-therapy/how-to-choose-a-psychotherapist/):
- Would I feel comfortable telling them about intimate details of my life?
- Do I feel safe with them?
- Do I like their manner towards me?
- Could I be completely open with them?
One of the most powerful experiences I’ve had in working with a therapist was when I was asked to talk about my life using stones. They were all different shapes and sizes and so I picked different ones to represent people in my life and one to represent me. I placed the stones around me at different distances and talked about the people I feel connected to. At the end the therapist gave me the stone I’d chosen to represent myself. This was such an impactful expression of how I see therapy – as the therapist giving you back to yourself.
I hope that these words might be helpful in starting your journey to find someone to work with. It can be such a life changing experience to work with someone in this way and I hope that you’re able to find the right person for you.
If you are looking for therapy or have found it - what has helped you in that process? If you are already a therapist, how does this change how you look for therapy? I'd be really interested to hear more from you.
If you like to read, I found this blog article quite useful and it gives some practical steps to help you find someone: https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/blog/2018/09/24/how-to-find-a-counsellor
I also like this article from Mind which really gives lots of different options about ways to get therapy (including how to get free therapy through the NHS, charities, work or study: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/talking-therapy-and-counselling/how-to-find-a-therapist/
Cooper, M. (2008). The facts are friendly. Therapy Today, 19 (7), 8-13.